“Man up!” How I hate that fucking term… It’s one thing to hear it coming from a man who is intimately aware of the implications and ramifications of that statement’s requirements and who isn’t demanding that you do anything that they themselves are not doing or have done. As insulting and infuriating as it is when it comes from the ignorant and clueless, it’s insidious when it comes from those that wish exploit men’s inherent social script to defraud them, because so much of male social script is contingent upon men relinquishing their dreams, aspirations and supplicating to the feminine desires socially. That’s open manipulative misandry and it shouldn’t be stood for. Often that misandry is couched in similar phrases such as; ‘Step Up!’, or ‘Be the Man’ and is invariably followed by an implied “& Shut Up!”. The intent is always the same, supplicate to the demands of women’s needs, desires and social latitudes at your expense.
And yet, when I honestly look at the situation it isn’t the goal or objective that I actually have a problem with… it’s the manner , approach and expectations in which we send men to achieve this… men on a whole are almost totally unprepared for the socio-economic transformations that have taken place in the last 50 years… The gender and social scripts for men have been utterly transformed. Where our masculine traits served us and women well, as protectors and providers, they are now obsolete, defunct and openly ridiculed. We are simply demanding of men to take on the enormity of a task, without giving them the basic knowledge or abilities to succeed in that endeavor, let alone support them. That’s setting good men up for failure and that’s completely immoral.
This blog is to stand in support of young men by providing basic knowledge and skills required to ‘Man up!’ and therefore better shape not only a young man’s self-worth, self-identity and self-respect, but also that they may honestly take on the responsibilities of having a healthy meaningful, long-term, committed relationships, and that they may ultimately be able to pass that legacy onto their own children…
I believe the sexes are meant for each other. That we are naturally compatible and complimentary to each other, but society, culture, sexual politics and ignorance to our human nature have taken us seriously awry.
Like many of you I had tremendous fears, anxieties, concerns, lack of ability, confidence in relationships, my viability in the sexual market place and grave misgivings regarding today’s social, cultural and political environment and was determined to do something about it… and I did!
Today I come home to the sounds of my little girl running to me, exclaiming “Daddy, daddy, daddy!”. Whereupon I pick her up, toss her in the air and then I am warmed by the full-on bear hugs of my loving daughter. In that moment I am utterly fulfilled. I am thriving.
I am also rewarded by the loving gaze of my partner, as she looks on in approval and her own fulfillment as a mother and my partner. She may no always say it, but her eyes tell me everything I need to know.
This is how things should be…
This is how things should be for each of us…
This is how things should be for you too… but this isn’t how things are and because of that you are here today, you are interested in the content of this blog, the presentations I give, the book I wrote.
Culture and society have gone terribly astray to the point of affecting each of your lives, the decisions you make, the expectations you have for it. It does not help that culture and society are in effect promoting isolation and loneliness for both men and women and for far, far too many individuals the very real possibility of becoming a Darwinian failure.
I intend to help correct that, because I believe it is essential and within our nature to be together.
Love your mission. I really enjoyed your Contrarian Relationship talk. Keep up your work. It really benefits guys like me. Thank you again.