“We cannot manage that which we do not see…”
Unchanging Biological Nature
Often at opposition to the dramatic advances in feminist socialization, lies our biological nature which has not changed in millennia… at the heart of this is our limbic system, which supports a variety of emotional and behavioral functions, the most popular being, attraction, arousal and procreation drivers, otherwise known as one’s “Libido”. The importance of this is two-fold; the first is that this is a primitive, base need/driver and secondly that both men and women have it! Yes, women have not only a libido, but they ‘think’ with it similarly as males, although it does manifest itself differently amongst the sexes…
Cultural Anthropologically speaking, this social biological expression for women has been termed Hypergamy or a woman’s hypergamous nature. It manifests itself in three distinct areas regarding sexual selection preferences;
Sexual dimorphism– the physical attraction triggers which tend to be size, strength, fitness and athletic prowess
Social dimorphism– behavioral traits associated with masculine alpha behaviors such as dominance, aggression, assertiveness, risk-taking, self-reliance etc…
Status dimorphism– these are your age-old markers of status projections of social standing, wealth, power and fame.
While our limbic system may be our base biological driver when it comes to sex drive, we needn’t be controlled by it, but if we are unaware of it, or how it plays out in our lives, we are very much at it’s mercy…. Hear that ladies??? That means YOU TOO!!! Just as a man can control his biological sexual nature to be monogamous, so to can a woman control her hypergamous nature of selecting douchebags and deadbeats, that trigger her hypergamous desires, but not her social desires of a compatible, loving and supporting mate.
Hierarchy of needs
Maslow’s theory of Human Motivation clearly defines and categorizes base psychological needs in order of ascension. At its very base is the need psychologically for ‘sex’, even before ‘security’, and then ‘sexual intimacy’. What is important to realize about Maslow’s theory is that one cannot attain a higher state of psychological being without first fulfilling a lesser level… That being said those social levels associated with ‘Esteem’ and ‘Self-actualization’ cannot be fulfilled without the securing lower levels of being. Simply put attraction is not negotiable. As men, we have to first respond in answering and managing women’s hypergamous attraction triggers prior to developing any measure of relationship equity. Or as coined within the Men’s Community “Relationships are no sanctuary from Hypergamy”, “Hypergamy just doesn’t care!” or more encompassing “Hypergamy doesn’t care how long you’ve been dating/married, how faithful you’ve been, how decent, kind or supporting of a guy you are, how many children you have, what type of father you are to her children or what a ‘stellar male-feminist’ you are when faced to her biological drivers of sexual need and attraction.” These common Men’s Movement phrases underscore a very real and ugly reality at failing to meet and to maintain base biological attraction triggers of our relationship partners. Doubt it? Just dive into current divorce stats, who’s doing the filing and under what circumstances… Have a frank conversation with a divorce attorney or sit and listen to men destroyed by their failed marriages and our family court system. It is a very sobering experience to realize what it means for base biological and psychological needs to always trump higher social conventions… Ignore them is to do so at your own peril!
Manage yourself first…
All good leaders will lead from the front and by example. So too with really great managers, they will manage themselves before they attempt to manage others. Before as men we attempt to manage hypergamy with regards to women (telling women to control that shit), we need to address it ourselves by becoming they type of man women are naturally attracted to. That means achieving our natural potential of being fit, socially confident and professionally ambitious– to achieve and fulfill that social contract and male expectation of being a ‘protector and provider’… (Here’s a link to an organization that promotes all three and then some: The 21 Convention) Ladies, before you expect us to control our cocks and supplicate our natural biological prerogatives of promiscuity for monogamy, perhaps you should check yourselves first for your general levels of fitness, femininity and nurturing potential…
Survival of the fittest
It’s a jungle out there… it always has been. If you want to rise above it, you better start thinking, acting and planning like a Man (the species).