The Honest Liars Podcast #85

Honest Liars Podcast

Recently I had a fantastic opportunity to be interviewed by the boys at The Honest Liars regarding a wide range of subjects concerning relationships, living consciously, feminism, living virtuously and fatherhood. Most importantly I was able to spend quality time with individuals dedicated to living and improving their lives with incredibly conscious efforts.  They’re doing some really great work and are well worth the read and listen.  I could try to paraphrase what they do, but I think they do a fine job explaining it themselves: 

We believe that most people are perfectly capable of having fulfilling, honest, and open relationships. The problem is that so few of us have ever had true honest modeled for us, making it difficult to find authentic connections later in life. 

In order to attain these relationships, you MUST work to become the most authentic version of you, which means getting vulnerable not only with others, but also (and more importantly) with yourself.

Don’t know where to start? You’re not alone. People all over the world are starting this journey, just like you. They are waking up to the fact that their relationships are lacking, that something’s just not quite right with their world…

 

The Honest Liars

The Honest Liars Podcast #85 Socrates Interview

 

Pardon the interruption….

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The political, cultural and economic reasons why men don’t want to marry…

I’m taking a quick break in protocol in providing a link to the following video due to the fact that it is culturally time sensitive and is remarkable in clearly addressing the current cultural dating environment that men are seeing and addressing.

“Men on Strike!”

The point of this blog is to give rise and response to those men who are determined to embrace their nature/biology and take the tremendous risks associated with committed relationships and to provide some guidance to meet those.

I am fortunate to have a number of supreme examples of loving, committed and healthy long-term relationships as a basis for review. They in many ways are my rock in this swirling current of cultural misandry. But just because there are several great examples out there, the true risks are incredible and likely. Men are not treated as equal during and after divorce and the consequences are just too great. The shamming language that comes with telling men in light of these realities to “Man up!” is deplorable, but if we are to change this situation or incentives, we must first understand the reality and then openly address it, individually and then as a society.

In the mean time, I and many men like me are taking note, that it’s never been better to be a single. Single women, who want a man and a family, would be well advised to understand the nature of today’s culture and proffer an adequate response to it, in meeting men half way.

helen_smith_men_on_strike_cover

Providing Validation

Providing validation image

Love is validated in the memories of the past…

 

“I see, I hear, I get”

Emotions heal and anger is soothed when they are heard and validated. So too are the people and the relationship they’re in. Validating is about “not only do I hear what you’re saying, but I get it, I get you.” You are in essence saying to your partner “I see you, I hear you and you and our relationship together have meaning to me.”

Beware the extremes

Communication is an emotional event, especially when emotional needs or personal boundaries are at stake. It is at these times that relationships can come to an inflection point in value and how they are perceived by our partners. While at these points are polar extremes, validating our partner on a regular and continuous basis is at the heart of any intimate relationship.

Even when we disagree

Even when we disagree, validation provides a way for us to communicate the common ground between us. Providing emotional validation shows the speaker that we’re not only accept them, but they are safe and secure in expressing themselves and their thoughts and ideas free of ridicule or disdain.

It’s about leadership

As a man we’re culturally taught not only to provide but to also protect, typically from an external threat, but what happens when the threat and injuries are internal, that originates from within the relationship and by us? When our actions indicate blaming, judging, denying and minimizing our partner’s emotions, we are invalidating not only their emotions, but them as well. These actions leave psychic and emotional wounds which leave our partners feeling rejected, ignored or judged. What does it say about a man’s leadership ability when he makes his partner feel this way on a continuous basis? Should he be surprised when she seeks out comfort, security and acceptance from another man in the casual sex quadrant of life? Do you really think it will stay casual for long? Are we not aware of hypergamy by now?

Relationship cancer

Invalidation disrupts relationships, creates emotional distance and alienation with our partners. It is a drain on the emotional bank account we have established, and one that typically fuels a relationship’s demise. Combine invalidation with a negative feedback loop and the relationship is in a certain death spiral.

‘Knowledge-Doing’ gap

While this knowledge is mostly likely very common, what isn’t is acting on the actual behavior traits of validating our partners on a continual basis. It’s what’s known as the ‘Knowledge-Doing’ gap. We may know something, but there is a big gap in habitual behaviors which are destructive to our relationships.

When listening is an investment

Most people stop listening when they think they already know what the other person is going to say. Other times they stop listening when they’ve gotten the information they wanted, but that’s not why your partner is talking to you… Active listening is when you’re able to accurately repeat in your own words what it is that your partner is conveying or trying to. If you’re not sure, you ask clarifying questions to seek their intent. Validating goes beyond active listening and combines developing empathy and emotional support skills in recognizing that your time, energy and focus attention sends the very real message that your partner is important to you, and what they are saying is important to you, as a consequence. When you listen to build and reinforce a relationship, you’re investing in the relationship and your partner. That’s the validation we’re talking about.

Striking a balance

However there’s a balance to be struck between empowerment the ability to change your state of being, including your feelings and behavior and emotional validation. Men tend to focus on too much empowerment and women tend to stay in emotional validation too long, which inhibits progress in both cases. If you don’t validate sufficiently, your partner will resist your efforts at assistance. If you validate too much, your partner will begin to identify with their issue or symptom (victimhood mentality). Emotional validation without empowerment is ineffectual pity and empowerment without emotional validation leaves your partner feeling that you don’t get them.

 

21-Convention Interview Series: Socrates: A Documentary for Manning Up Smart

Image 21 Convention Socrates Documentary

 

 

 

 

I’m pleased to announce that Anthony Johnson CEO, founder and visionary of the 21-Convention has just released the edited version of the 21-Convention Interview Series, that featured an interview we conducted for over four hours in early April. We were given a quick peek at pre-production release mid-May and many of us were highly anticipating the final edited release. I know I was! Well, wait no more!

Video link

This is really a very surreal moment in my life for me. I never anticipated anything like this, whether it was the experiences that I gained by actively trying to improve my life, the deep personal friendships that I gained, the camaraderie, the knowledge that I’ve helped people along the same path others helped me or even getting to the point where almost strangers (and now complete strangers) are seeking out your guidance, opinion or knowledge and experience within this world of dating, sex, relationships, personal development, life and life style management. I was honored and frightened at the prospects of being asked to initially speak at the 21-Convention. (click video image to watch to video)

 

Video Link

Having been the lead off speaker and attending the entire 21-Convention, meeting the attendees, sharing personal stories, fielding and asking questions, personal inquires, and the general batting around of a multitude of ideas, thoughts and concepts, I walked away realizing that I had a lot to say and a lot to give back to the men’s community.

I initially started by compiling my personal data bank of notes that I’ve taken over the course of several years and posting on more than one forum regarding inner game and relationship development. I quickly came to two conclusions; The first was that in many ways what I had to say was either not appropriate for those forums or I very much risked hijacking it. I needed my own place on the net dedicated to these thoughts, ideas and beliefs that was not going to compete with a hosted forum. The second is that the underlying wealth of collected information was so much that it wasn’t going to be easily collected, documented and edited. I simply wasn’t happy just blasting the information without a filtered awareness behind the notes and comments I collected or researched. This lead me to creating this blog. A site dedicated to the concept that committed relationships with women are healthy, natural and essential to our society and culture at large. This endeavor though should not be taken lightly or ignorantly. The results of doing so today are all around us and I personally find the consequences repugnant.

I have no illusions that I alone will be able to effect change, but I am consciously aware of the dramatic changes that have and do take place individually. I am surrounded by it. In my own life, in the lives of the men I choose to call friends and those that have sought out my and others help in assisting them along in their journey, though understanding and experiencing their life. I have made it my goal and mission to reach out and touch the lives of a thousand men, to make a difference in their lives, in their relationships and their family structure.

The 21-Convention has been an incredible initiator and incubator for establishing that concept for me, as it is also an amazing vehicle for delivering that message and content. And while I may be a speaker at these events, I am also very much an attendee and student myself, as I have and do take away so much from attending these conferences. If you are looking to find a direction in your life, to find inspiration, to achieve the idealized version of your self, as defined by you, this is the place for you.

 

 

Attend 21-Convention link

Conflict Management

“See the forest through the trees”

Conflict within a relationship may be frustrating, but is it really worth the incredible effort required to tackle it? Ask yourself; what is the cost of conflict avoidance or incompetent conflict resolution skills? The cost of conflict incompetence is a poisoned relationship… poisoned by anger, fear, defensiveness, negativity, hurt and embarrassment, combined with misunderstanding and distrust, which will weaken individual morale and obviously strain the relationship. This poison just doesn’t remain stagnant. It festers into a boil that mars even the most beautiful of intimacies. Lastly, what does conflict avoidance say about a man, his leadership ability, and his relationship fitness?

Men as leaders can manage conflict and improve an emotionally hostile situation, by learning to replace destructive behaviors with constructive behaviors, while seeing past the immediate issue for the impact it has on the course of the relationship. Doing so men will see a difference in how a specific conflict plays out and how conflicts generally apply within their relationships overall.

Determining the context

One of the utmost decisions you will have regarding a conflict is determining the time and place of it. Even if the conflict is thrust upon you, as a man, it is your role to determine the appropriateness and timing of it. If the context isn’t appropriate, or the emotions are getting out of control, it is essential to delay, postpone or defuse the mounting tension before carrying on. This can be as simple as calling a momentary time-out, defusing the tension by bringing the bigger picture into scope and highlighting shared emotional consideration and re-affirming emotional security by doing so, or postponing the conflict discussion until a later defined date. With regards to postponing the conflict, be sure to set a specific time frame and context in which you will discuss the conflict issue. This isn’t a dismissal, but a genuine acknowledgement that an issue needs to be addressed, but now, is not the time and place to discuss it. This is very much a form of boundary setting and needs to be treated and viewed as such. A partner unwilling to do so, is being disrespectful of you and the relationship. It is equally important for you to be seen following through on your promise to re-engage at the previously agreed upon time. Do not wait for the time to arrive and have your partner initiate the discussion. Be a man about it. Control the timing, context and the initiation of the conflict discussion, as promised. Realize that this is a form providing emotional security, for both of you, as well as the relationship.

Setting the tone

As a man and a leader you will be tasked with setting the tone of the conflict, through leading by example. Emotionally deterred leaders are poor ones. Letting emotions run-away is a sure sign of a failed leadership and a general fitness test in a man. This doesn’t mean you can’t respond emotionally when and where appropriate and justifiable, but getting pulled ‘off-sides’ with regards to emotional escalation with your partners behavior or emotions isn’t acceptable. You simply lose credibility as a man and as a competent leader while tarnishing your established image. At these moments, what are you emotionally telling your partner? What is her emotional take-away from the situation? It’s one thing to develop your brand when selling to the client, it’s another when dealing with an issue on the back-end in customer service. It’s not enough just to choose your words wisely, but you need to establish and control the tone of the conflict as well.

Taking perspective

As with any conflict there tends to be a critical mass of emotions surrounding a perceived failed expectation, and the issue at hand may only be a symptom of it, not the underlying cause or motivator for the conflict. For this reason, it is incredibly important to try to understand the other person’s point of view and more importantly where they are coming from emotionally. Focus on their words and behaviors, not your assumptions. Asking yourself, or more importantly, asking them, “why do you think that?”, can open the doors to a greater understanding of what the real issue is to them. Learning to actively listen to the other person with the intent of understanding rather than debating. It is important that your partner be fully heard, don’t interrupt, let them finish what they are saying, then summarize their points of view regarding the conflict BEFORE presenting your ideas and opinions.

Discussing emotions

There is a remarkable difference between ‘discussing emotions’ and ‘expressing emotions’. While emotions will surely be at the core of a conflict, letting emotions get away from one another and getting caught up in the moment emotionally will be severely detrimental. It is immensely better to discuss emotions in a forthright, appropriate manner, rather than have pent-up emotions expressed uncontrollably. To properly address emotions, make sure that the emotions being expressed is helpful, is specific and reflects your point of view, such as using the phrase “I feel”, “I am frustrated because” etc.. Refrain from using words or terms that project blame, condescension or judgment.

Creating solutions

Today’s man is expected to showcase leadership skills that have vastly heightened sense of emotional intelligence with regard to collaboration skills, consensus achievement, team building and forging strong personal connections throughout the conflict process, especially in this Sexual Market Place. It is for these reasons, it is best to jointly review the underpinnings of the conflict and together propose and chart changes of patterns of communication, held expectations, defining emotional promises and agreed upon behaviors associated with resolving the conflict. Woe be it to any man who relies on the age-old patriarchy leadership skill of alpha dominance to ‘resolve’ a dispute. The likely outcome will be an emotional insurgency by your partner that will ultimately be resolved when she act upon her natural hypergamy to fortify her failing sense of self-worth, self-esteem and self-respect, by spreading herself for an emotionally intelligent alpha cock who ‘gets her’. …and yes, he will, no doubt repeatedly, as sex with women tends to follow those that hold their emotions.

Relationship Dating

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

It take two to tango…

Women actually expect their relationship fantasies to be born out in real life. In the SMP and society at large it is assumed that men alone are the sex abdicating their societal duty in not preparing themselves for relationships, marriage and creating families men just need to ‘man up!’. Women feel an inherent entitlement, fully supported by society, to quality men and need only show up, no matter how emotionally and spiritually broken, physically unkempt, poor mannered, burdened with irresponsible debt, poor job or career prospects, saddled with bastard children and fully expect men to have an obligation and overwhelming urge to court, pursue and marry these unfeminine, dreadful creatures and provide for them and their ill spawned prodigy. It’s echoed in the ‘where-are-all-the-good-men’ and ‘I just need a “good” man’ meme endless exposed by women and their white knight champions. The reality is that there are no good men due to a combination of increased expectations, decreased attractiveness and substandard feminine qualities, and a societal stripping of male incentives towards relationships and marriage. The standards of sexual behavior are a two-way street… as the self-proclaimed gatekeepers of sex, women are failing themselves and the men they desire utterly and in the process they are getting the men they deserve; players, deadbeats and douchebags.

Wait for Mrs. Right, not Mrs. Always Right….

Your desires matter! As a strategic matter – men should avoid those people who we can be reasonably judged as being unwilling and incapable to provide us what we want, need and deserve. They simply are not worthy of emotional investment, as they are not relationship material. As the gatekeepers of commitment men have an obligation to ourselves to tell these women who do not fit our criteria for our lives, ‘no!’. By doing so you are creating the potential to do the impossible in this day and age: pave the way for successful, stable, monogamous relationships, not with just any woman who comes along, but just the right one to suit your personality, lifestyle, tastes and preferences that is prepared and willing to commit to a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It stands to reason that men ought to entertain a prolonged period in their lives where they are open to exploring the most highly qualified options they have access to, while concurrently developing and improving themselves prior to making a commitment of any significant magnitude.

The Vagina Authority

The health of any relationship you might entertain depends and survives on the frame you enter into it with from the very beginning. A man respecting his biological prerogative will naturally put his physical/sexual needs before his emotional ones… when a man acquiesces those needs to a woman’s needs of emotionally commitment prior to establishing a sexual identity within the relationship structure, the man is effectively trapped in a her-frame relationship, otherwise known as the vagina authority, which is well-known axiom within the men’s community . When a woman has successfully negotiated and manipulated control for the relationship frame through negotiated sexual access and plays at sexuality, it is always going to color your dealings with her. She has established a conditional reward for desired behavior that lies at the crux of an intimate relationship. This is no way to go through life. Your relationship becomes an ever-present, unspoken understanding, one you helped to foster, that she can ultimately play the pussy card and you will comply. And while this may gratify her in the short-term, in achieving her desires for emotional security, she has already lost her respect for you in the long-term, as she simple doesn’t see you as a strong and confident man…the type of man she actually wants. Your first act of entering into a committed long-term relationship should not be an act of capitulation.

When women drive …relationships

When a woman states that ‘she wants to take things slow’, ‘she’s not that type of girl’, ‘she’s traditional’, it is either an active ploy of manipulation, to take control of the relationship or covert communication for “I have other options I’m weighing”, “you’re not my first and best option”, or “I’m not that into you”. Any way you slice it, you’re getting played, as the golden tenant of the SMP is that a woman will have no problem becoming sexual with you, if you exceed their attraction threshold. Sexual tension is the chemistry that binds the relationship. If sex isn’t on the table, neither should any form of commitment. Women naturally want a man who is going to take the lead and drive the direction of the relationship, that means also controlling the pace of the relationship. Only one of you should be behind the wheel of the relationship at any one time… and you both know who that should be…

Where the rubber hits the dating floor…

A man’s status, power and wealth are the historical hallmarks of a man’s value within the sexual market place, even more so than his appearance… , but it is his self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect forming his sense of self-awareness of his true value that will set a man with none of the historical hallmarks apart in the sexual market place… it essentially is his calling card.

As fellow blogger Rollo Tomassi of the Rationale Male, succinctly put it:

“There is nothing as simultaneously fear inspiring and arousing for women as a Man that is self-aware of his own value.” “Feminization can’t afford men knowing their true value and potential and thus continuously seeks to confuse men and continually inspire doubt and humiliation.” “ In this regard, holding a belief that you are better than you really are will bring you more success with women than having a realistic appraisal of yourself. “ “It is vastly better to error on the side of too much boldness rather than too little…” “Touching a woman on the first date will get you further than not touching her at all…”  “Five minutes of alpha behavior will flood the female brain with excitement, arousal and interest that hours of beta supplicating behavior ever will…”

The flip side of the same coin is to never market the relationship or your over-willingness to commit. Instead, focus on how being with you fulfills their emotional needs and desires in a way that would be betrayed by dependency needs, because when there’s a good relationship forming, the pressure you feel like you’ll lose the person doesn’t exist, due to the bond, trust and respect that you’ve both mutually created. When sex is exchanged for commitment, both parties loose, as what happens when there is a competing and better offer?

“Ka-ching” Dating

The all or nothing approach to dating more often than not leads to limiting results; either their partnership material or not and is too often the parting is unseemly and unfortunate. It is also immature and unsophisticated form of dating. In the process of spreading out you efforts across a wider pool of potential candidates, focus your intent into a form of social-networking and marketing, where that is precisely the goal, that you value developing new friendships over sexual transactions or end-goal objectives of obtaining a relationship. You should create and use these personal interactions that are so extraordinary and so powerful, that the women you see socially still desire your company and become an advocate for you, and you them, as reciprocity is important in any relationship.

Ladies-Bring it!

Men will decide whether to date in search of a relationship and ultimately marriage, as opposed to dating recreationally, based upon their own personal assessment of the risks involved within the SMP, the perceived risks and attributes associated with a particular woman conveys and what they feel their sense of worth and entitlement demand for their own lives. The risks men face are extensive and run the gamut of financial, emotional, social, cultural, physical, legal and sexual. As a man, it behooves you to be fully informed about those risks, and the benefits you confer in your relationship and marriage potential. Women will need to demonstrate that they are low risk, high value, and of sterling character. That means among other things, a willingness to take their wedding vows dead seriously, and to speak out against divorce as a means of personal growths, self-expression and tapping into an unlimited supply of hypergamy ala ‘Eat, Pray, Love’…

 

Developing your game…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.”

 

Since the dawn of time…

Game has always been around. Whether it was employed in the form of ‘sneaky breeders’ from the anthropological evolutionary standpoint or in the form of courtly sonnets of Troubadours, or the conscientious seduction efforts to lead women astray, by legendary lovers such as Casanova and the fictional libertine Don Juan, game has always been with us. Historically it has been employed by few men, as the nature of life and the social contracts that existed within society functioned and for those that it didn’t, there wasn’t any other option. For a lucky few who were in an economic and social class that allowed them the opportunities to circumvent the traditional sources of male values (status, power and wealth) ‘game’ existed and they benefited from it.

Modern mass media has created the opportunity for this awareness and knowledge, to be shared amongst interested parties, in a manner that previously unthought-of and un-heard-of. While what we now know as ‘Game’, was never canonized, the tenants have been rediscovered and confirmed through simple behaviorism, observable results and modified social experiments, at a personal level, which often is paralleled and verified, through access to actual public domain scientific social experiments, until a relatively predictable and usable concepts and stratagems are produced. Much of this stands in stark contrast to personal and social norms, expectations and acceptance, as it simply does not paint a pretty picture of human socio-sexual behavior on many levels.

Knowing is half the battle…

What you are doing is not working. Your results in the Sexual Market Place are a reflection of your beliefs, attitudes and your actions reflect those beliefs. They are simply ineffective for the socio-situation, in which you are party to. As the agent of your life, you need to take accountability and authorship for this or honestly embrace getting more of what you’re already achieving. You can’t change society, but you can change and work on your responses to it and in response to your direct situation. The first step in changing this reality comes from educating yourself and personally verifying the concepts associated with ‘game’, so that they become self-evident and can thus be then truly applied for good effect and more importantly specifically refined to you and your situation. Without an underlying fundamental belief and conviction in what you are doing and why you are performing those functions, you are simply a beggar at a buffet which contains a number of poisons.

Becoming the commodity she’s looking for…

Game works and in its simplest form is nothing more than a direct response to the Sexual Market Place and female hypergamy (the female desire to date/marry/mate with a male at or above her socio-economic level) and becoming a vastly better more social you. ‘Game’ and its working elements are nothing more than your actions to increase your ‘eligibility’ for female attraction and selection. Mom, got some of it right. You do need to put your best foot forward. You need to be confident in who and what you are and what you have to offer not only the woman you fancy, but the world in general. What Mom doesn’t understand or comprehend is the upheaval and transformation that has taken place with the social contract in society and their ramifications to you directly. Dating used to be an end to a means- marriage, children and family creation, not any more. Learning about the SMP and how you factor in it is essential reading and knowledge. Understanding it is critical. You’re a ‘No-Go!’ until you do. To do so otherwise is to risk peril at your own jeopardy, as the downfalls and traps of ‘Game’ and the ‘Community’ are well-known.

The Golden tenant of game…

The golden tenant of game is that a woman will sleep with you and desire a relationship with you, if your value exceeds their attraction threshold. In a business sense, this is a combination of business development and sales all rolled into one. In short, if you don’t have the ability to interact with, entice, and compel a woman to invest herself with your time, presence and services, you’re not in business and you have no hopes at gaining and being in a committed relationship. While the ‘Community’ has historically focused primarily upon the social skills development aspect of female attraction and selection criteria, there are three major areas in which a man can focus his attention and energies to increase his value and thus improving his options both quantitatively and qualitatively with women.

Physical Development

The impact and influence of your physique upon a woman’s attraction and selection criteria are immense. The better looking, either genetically or developed sense of hygiene, style and fashion will play an enormous role in a woman’s choice, as does the level of your physical fitness and physical development. It is so obvious it goes without saying, but consequently it is one of those realms that people refuse to acknowledge or attune to, because like psychological development requires discipline, work and perseverance. As immediate and powerful as this criterion is for women, they will gradually perceive a man’s looks to a lesser degree, if he possesses other attractive and desirable traits, but he needs continued opportunity to showcase those. Too often that chance won’t materialize for most men, as their physical impressions will be their only ones. While the crux of ‘game’ is that you can influence perceive opinions of women by projecting confidence, demeanor and attitude of a more physically fit or higher social status male, it is often simpler and more effective to actually get into shape, develop a sense and flair for fashion and be well-groomed. When you do, the confidence, demeanor and attitudes will be real and won’t have to be feigned, as faking it is not very effective over the long-term.

Lifestyle Development

Your lifestyle has unbelievable influence with who will be attracted to you, as it will be a natural reflection of who you are and the values you have, as they are readily exhibited. A man’s value is intrinsic to him because of what he makes himself into and through what he does with his life, independent of a woman. A man’s value exists because of what he is and what he does. Developing and shaping your life path is one of the most important objectives you will have in life beyond taking care of your physical, emotional and psychological needs. Your life, your home and the world in which you beckon her to enter and become a part of, will be a manifestation of all this.

Social Skills

The genera of social skills development is truly immense, with fractured niche developments for what seems to be an almost every realm conceivable and growing daily… a major allied component to this is developing a set of rules of engagement (frame) that you will live, date and operate by. It is your basis and criteria of living and becomes your overall theme for how you go about living your life, through establishing a bedrock of standards and qualifications for everything in your life, to include women and your relationships with them. Of equal importance here is your ability and nature to communicate those standards to people and specifically with women and manage the adherence to them. You determine and manage this. You implicitly state “this is my life. If you want to be part of it, here is what is involved and expected.” If not, you must be willing to let her go and walk away from what is not working. In essence you need to make a woman demonstrate her worthiness before you invest and or commit to her. Quality is never achieved by lowering standards. This is especially true for yourself as well. The overall premise of your relationships needs to be led and molded by you. Not only do women want this, they crave it.

“As you wish”…

There are countless numbers of men who wanting to be boyfriends, husbands and fathers-to-be, are sitting on the sidelines of the Sexual Market Place (SMP), that are never taught the methods or developed the confidence needed to pursue women effectively in this current environment. If women are serious about wanting beta traits in men, they’re going to have to go find them and show them they are valuable. The problem is they are not. They are getting more of what they sleep with and savvy men are recognizing that to get the type of woman they want, they need to exhibit more of the traits of the men she actually chooses (the rise of douchebaggery). Thus we have the mainstream rise of ‘game’. Like it or not, Princess Buttercup chose the dread pirate Roberts over both Westley (farm-boy), who supplicated to her every demand and Prince Humperdinck who lacks all manner of wit, charm and enticing social skills, but relies upon obtuse forms of status, wealth and power to achieve his seduction. While a fictionalized story, it does play upon the satire of human nature and it is a tune that rings a little too true. In this day and age, it is the scoundrel that attracts the Princess Bride…