Tag Archives: Hypergamy

Managing Hypergamy

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Hypergamy Chart

Hypergamy Chart

“We cannot manage that which we do not see…”

 

Unchanging Biological Nature

Often at opposition to the dramatic advances in feminist socialization, lies our biological nature which has not changed in millennia… at the heart of this is our limbic system, which supports a variety of emotional and behavioral functions, the most popular being, attraction, arousal and procreation drivers, otherwise known as one’s “Libido”. The importance of this is two-fold; the first is that this is a primitive, base need/driver and secondly that both men and women have it! Yes, women have not only a libido, but they ‘think’ with it similarly as males, although it does manifest itself differently amongst the sexes…

Hypergamy

Cultural Anthropologically speaking, this social biological expression for women has been termed Hypergamy or a woman’s hypergamous nature. It manifests itself in three distinct areas regarding sexual selection preferences;

Sexual dimorphism– the physical attraction triggers which tend to be size, strength, fitness and athletic prowess

Social dimorphism– behavioral traits associated with masculine alpha behaviors such as dominance, aggression, assertiveness, risk-taking, self-reliance etc…

Status dimorphism– these are your age-old markers of status projections of social standing, wealth, power and fame.

While our limbic system may be our base biological driver when it comes to sex drive, we needn’t be controlled by it, but if we are unaware of it, or how it plays out in our lives, we are very much at it’s mercy…. Hear that ladies??? That means YOU TOO!!! Just as a man can control his biological sexual nature to be monogamous, so to can a woman control her hypergamous nature of selecting douchebags and deadbeats, that trigger her hypergamous desires, but not her social desires of a compatible, loving and supporting mate.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Hierarchy of needs

Maslow’s theory of Human Motivation clearly defines and categorizes base psychological needs in order of ascension. At its very base is the need psychologically for ‘sex’, even before ‘security’, and then ‘sexual intimacy’. What is important to realize about Maslow’s theory is that one cannot attain a higher state of psychological being without first fulfilling a lesser level… That being said those social levels associated with ‘Esteem’ and ‘Self-actualization’ cannot be fulfilled without the securing lower levels of being. Simply put attraction is not negotiable. As men, we have to first respond in answering and managing women’s hypergamous attraction triggers prior to developing any measure of relationship equity. Or as coined within the Men’s Community “Relationships are no sanctuary from Hypergamy”, “Hypergamy just doesn’t care!” or more encompassing “Hypergamy doesn’t care how long you’ve been dating/married, how faithful you’ve been, how decent, kind or supporting of a guy you are, how many children you have, what type of father you are to her children or what a ‘stellar male-feminist’ you are when faced to her biological drivers of sexual need and attraction.” These common Men’s Movement phrases underscore a very real and ugly reality at failing to meet and to maintain base biological attraction triggers of our relationship partners. Doubt it? Just dive into current divorce stats, who’s doing the filing and under what circumstances… Have a frank conversation with a divorce attorney or sit and listen to men destroyed by their failed marriages and our family court system. It is a very sobering experience to realize what it means for base biological and psychological needs to always trump higher social conventions… Ignore them is to do so at your own peril!

Manage yourself first…

All good leaders will lead from the front and by example. So too with really great managers, they will manage themselves before they attempt to manage others. Before as men we attempt to manage hypergamy with regards to women (telling women to control that shit), we need to address it ourselves by becoming they type of man women are naturally attracted to. That means achieving our natural potential of being fit, socially confident and professionally ambitious– to achieve and fulfill that social contract and male expectation of being a ‘protector and provider’… (Here’s a link to an organization that promotes all three and then some: The 21 Convention) Ladies, before you expect us to control our cocks and supplicate our natural biological prerogatives of promiscuity for monogamy, perhaps you should check yourselves first for your general levels of fitness, femininity and nurturing potential…

Survival of the fittest

It’s a jungle out there… it always has been. If you want to rise above it, you better start thinking, acting and planning like a Man (the species).

 

21 Convention Home Site

Developing your game…

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“Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.”

 

Since the dawn of time…

Game has always been around. Whether it was employed in the form of ‘sneaky breeders’ from the anthropological evolutionary standpoint or in the form of courtly sonnets of Troubadours, or the conscientious seduction efforts to lead women astray, by legendary lovers such as Casanova and the fictional libertine Don Juan, game has always been with us. Historically it has been employed by few men, as the nature of life and the social contracts that existed within society functioned and for those that it didn’t, there wasn’t any other option. For a lucky few who were in an economic and social class that allowed them the opportunities to circumvent the traditional sources of male values (status, power and wealth) ‘game’ existed and they benefited from it.

Modern mass media has created the opportunity for this awareness and knowledge, to be shared amongst interested parties, in a manner that previously unthought-of and un-heard-of. While what we now know as ‘Game’, was never canonized, the tenants have been rediscovered and confirmed through simple behaviorism, observable results and modified social experiments, at a personal level, which often is paralleled and verified, through access to actual public domain scientific social experiments, until a relatively predictable and usable concepts and stratagems are produced. Much of this stands in stark contrast to personal and social norms, expectations and acceptance, as it simply does not paint a pretty picture of human socio-sexual behavior on many levels.

Knowing is half the battle…

What you are doing is not working. Your results in the Sexual Market Place are a reflection of your beliefs, attitudes and your actions reflect those beliefs. They are simply ineffective for the socio-situation, in which you are party to. As the agent of your life, you need to take accountability and authorship for this or honestly embrace getting more of what you’re already achieving. You can’t change society, but you can change and work on your responses to it and in response to your direct situation. The first step in changing this reality comes from educating yourself and personally verifying the concepts associated with ‘game’, so that they become self-evident and can thus be then truly applied for good effect and more importantly specifically refined to you and your situation. Without an underlying fundamental belief and conviction in what you are doing and why you are performing those functions, you are simply a beggar at a buffet which contains a number of poisons.

Becoming the commodity she’s looking for…

Game works and in its simplest form is nothing more than a direct response to the Sexual Market Place and female hypergamy (the female desire to date/marry/mate with a male at or above her socio-economic level) and becoming a vastly better more social you. ‘Game’ and its working elements are nothing more than your actions to increase your ‘eligibility’ for female attraction and selection. Mom, got some of it right. You do need to put your best foot forward. You need to be confident in who and what you are and what you have to offer not only the woman you fancy, but the world in general. What Mom doesn’t understand or comprehend is the upheaval and transformation that has taken place with the social contract in society and their ramifications to you directly. Dating used to be an end to a means- marriage, children and family creation, not any more. Learning about the SMP and how you factor in it is essential reading and knowledge. Understanding it is critical. You’re a ‘No-Go!’ until you do. To do so otherwise is to risk peril at your own jeopardy, as the downfalls and traps of ‘Game’ and the ‘Community’ are well-known.

The Golden tenant of game…

The golden tenant of game is that a woman will sleep with you and desire a relationship with you, if your value exceeds their attraction threshold. In a business sense, this is a combination of business development and sales all rolled into one. In short, if you don’t have the ability to interact with, entice, and compel a woman to invest herself with your time, presence and services, you’re not in business and you have no hopes at gaining and being in a committed relationship. While the ‘Community’ has historically focused primarily upon the social skills development aspect of female attraction and selection criteria, there are three major areas in which a man can focus his attention and energies to increase his value and thus improving his options both quantitatively and qualitatively with women.

Physical Development

The impact and influence of your physique upon a woman’s attraction and selection criteria are immense. The better looking, either genetically or developed sense of hygiene, style and fashion will play an enormous role in a woman’s choice, as does the level of your physical fitness and physical development. It is so obvious it goes without saying, but consequently it is one of those realms that people refuse to acknowledge or attune to, because like psychological development requires discipline, work and perseverance. As immediate and powerful as this criterion is for women, they will gradually perceive a man’s looks to a lesser degree, if he possesses other attractive and desirable traits, but he needs continued opportunity to showcase those. Too often that chance won’t materialize for most men, as their physical impressions will be their only ones. While the crux of ‘game’ is that you can influence perceive opinions of women by projecting confidence, demeanor and attitude of a more physically fit or higher social status male, it is often simpler and more effective to actually get into shape, develop a sense and flair for fashion and be well-groomed. When you do, the confidence, demeanor and attitudes will be real and won’t have to be feigned, as faking it is not very effective over the long-term.

Lifestyle Development

Your lifestyle has unbelievable influence with who will be attracted to you, as it will be a natural reflection of who you are and the values you have, as they are readily exhibited. A man’s value is intrinsic to him because of what he makes himself into and through what he does with his life, independent of a woman. A man’s value exists because of what he is and what he does. Developing and shaping your life path is one of the most important objectives you will have in life beyond taking care of your physical, emotional and psychological needs. Your life, your home and the world in which you beckon her to enter and become a part of, will be a manifestation of all this.

Social Skills

The genera of social skills development is truly immense, with fractured niche developments for what seems to be an almost every realm conceivable and growing daily… a major allied component to this is developing a set of rules of engagement (frame) that you will live, date and operate by. It is your basis and criteria of living and becomes your overall theme for how you go about living your life, through establishing a bedrock of standards and qualifications for everything in your life, to include women and your relationships with them. Of equal importance here is your ability and nature to communicate those standards to people and specifically with women and manage the adherence to them. You determine and manage this. You implicitly state “this is my life. If you want to be part of it, here is what is involved and expected.” If not, you must be willing to let her go and walk away from what is not working. In essence you need to make a woman demonstrate her worthiness before you invest and or commit to her. Quality is never achieved by lowering standards. This is especially true for yourself as well. The overall premise of your relationships needs to be led and molded by you. Not only do women want this, they crave it.

“As you wish”…

There are countless numbers of men who wanting to be boyfriends, husbands and fathers-to-be, are sitting on the sidelines of the Sexual Market Place (SMP), that are never taught the methods or developed the confidence needed to pursue women effectively in this current environment. If women are serious about wanting beta traits in men, they’re going to have to go find them and show them they are valuable. The problem is they are not. They are getting more of what they sleep with and savvy men are recognizing that to get the type of woman they want, they need to exhibit more of the traits of the men she actually chooses (the rise of douchebaggery). Thus we have the mainstream rise of ‘game’. Like it or not, Princess Buttercup chose the dread pirate Roberts over both Westley (farm-boy), who supplicated to her every demand and Prince Humperdinck who lacks all manner of wit, charm and enticing social skills, but relies upon obtuse forms of status, wealth and power to achieve his seduction. While a fictionalized story, it does play upon the satire of human nature and it is a tune that rings a little too true. In this day and age, it is the scoundrel that attracts the Princess Bride…

The Sexual Market Place

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Image of a storm at sea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore…”

The Sexual Market Place

The SMP (Sexual Market Place) is the nebulous environment in which a multitude of social, cultural, socioeconomic and sociopolitical factors influence the dating environment. These are the same powerful factors that are shaping our society and in fact the SMP is a reflection of those. Ultimately upon studying the SMP, one can come to the realization that the current dating environment is essentially a commodity market… where raw or primarily products are exchanged and the harsh realities of it are no different. Markets vary in form, scale, geographic and types of participants as well as goods and services being offered and sought from…with both macro and micro environments, but in this case we also have the differing biological sexual market values (SMV) trajectories of men and women, which will play an enormous role in ones timeline within the SMP.

The SMP is being shaped by hundreds of factors, but four major cultural drivers are shaping the macro-SMP and they are giving rise to delayed age of first marriages, rising divorce rates, decrease fertility and hookup culture;

Cultural Factors:

Readily available contraception (condoms, the pill and abortions): In the past there were extreme consequences for women should they become pregnant out-of-wedlock. Contraception liberated women from these life altering situations and resulted in a permissive environment in which women were free to explore their sexuality without fear and gave fuel to their hypergamy, women’s natural biological attraction triggers and drive to sexually select men who differentiated themselves via physical, social and status dimorphisms, which are most often at odds with monogamous partnering and parenting traits. Sex has always held incredible exchange value, now with readily available contraception women were free to yield it without having to suffer the dire consequences of an unwanted pregnancy.

Changes to Family Law (‘No fault’ divorce, asset division, and alimony): In the past, a divorce was only granted upon misconduct of a partner, with a dramatic decrease in quality of life due to a woman’s inability to be independent and self-supporting. Now the law and society has changed so that a partner needs no stated reason to abandon these life vows and is yet still entitled to child custody, property asset division and alimony, even though most women these days are capable of being self-supporting and independent. These incentivize the destruction of marriage and cause untolled emotional and financial destruction upon men, who lose their family, access to their children and typically are forced to support these endowments, at no fault of their own, just because she became “unhappy”.

Advancement of Feminism: The social movement of advancing equal political, economical and social rights for women has gone through a series of progressive waves of movement; 1st wave was to remove the 2nd class status from women and provided basic civil rights. The 2nd wave advanced a wide range of women’s issues from family law, workplace rights and reproductive rights, that we currently recognize as ‘women’s rights’. The 3rd wave has more diverse strains of feminist activity and can be viewed as developing a sense of empowerment for women from their given stereotypes, as being assertive, powerful and in control of their own sexuality, but with these new expressions has led to criticism that feminism often promotes misandry (hatred of men) and the elevation of women’s interests above men’s. Overall culture and society goes to lengths to shield, protect and liberate women from the consequences of their actions and to confer the rights of privilege status upon women. With time this has grown to become a deep trough of self-derived sense of entitlement for women, removed from any reality of actual achievement, merit or award.

Rise of the Post-Industrial Knowledge Economy: We don’t live in the Post-Industrial Age anymore…we reside at the footsteps of the Information Age and with it have come a dramatic shift in our social and cultural construct and expectations. The economic shift of globalization, the digital revolution and a massive shift away from manufacturing to knowledge and service base economy has been a tremendous advantage to women, which has rushed to fill and expand it, as this new market place is indifferent to men’s advantages of both size and strength and plays more to women’s strengths of emotional intelligence, such as consensus and team building, relationship skills and relationship development and aesthetic awareness and design. Women have not only expanded the original economy, but have created new markets where they hold sway. This is made more striking when one realizes that the growth in both college and graduate degrees came almost entirely from the female half of the population. Currently young women are now earning 117% of what their male peers do, even though men dominate the science, technology, engineering and math professions that are typically are higher paying fields. Even with these clearly defined demographics, society still further highly promotes, safeguards and rewards for women in the work place, through a number of incentives, programs and regulations. Women today have the same choice to be independent and self-sufficient as men, but make other calculated choices, then cry foul at the outcomes.

While the social attitudes and work place opportunities regarding women may have undergone a revolution, the rules of sex appeal have not and the Darwinian realities are not pretty for women in the long-term and a very rough ride for men in the short-term.

Biological factors:

Sexual Value Trajectories of men and women are vastly different.

Women in their early 20’s hold an extremely strong hand in the SMP, especially with men roughly their own age. Their sexual market value (SMV) is high, spans multiple age groups, creating an abundance of excellent prospects and many women are able to leverage this situation and effectively hit above their weight class sexually (have access to men they normally wouldn’t if it were not for their sex exchange value) for a decade or more. By 35 women’s sexual and fertility values within the sexual market place greatly diminishes and so too does the pool of interested and eligible men, at the same time they expect to settle down, find a man and start that family… Men on the other hand have a much lower SMV at the beginning of their lives, which spans relatively within their age peer group initially, but increases with age and their SMV doesn’t start to decline until well into their 50’s. As with any fish bowl it is the dominate fish that command the food supply.

As a women move from their 30’s to their 40’s they remain less enticing to men of their age than women who are ‘younger, firmer, tighter and free’, as the refrain goes. Just as a woman’s sexual market value (SMV) is in steep decline a man’s is typically continuing in an opposite trajectory and are leveraging that value for relationships with younger women, who are less used up sexually, are free of the immense emotional and physical baggage from previous marriages and the accompanying children and responsibilities that come with those children.

Sexual Biological Prerogatives of men and women differ immensely. Women control sex, men commitment…

Females

Evolutionary psychologists continue to prove that women exhibit mate-selective preferences for spouses/mates that hold greater physical attractiveness, educational level, job status, social standing and capital accumulation which is defined by the term Hypergamy. In colloquial terms it’s simply defined as ‘marrying up’. In practice, women delay marriage until their careers have been established (ramification of the knowledge economy), enjoy a parade of alpha cock during their roaring 20’s & 30’s ( thanks to the pill & feminism), thus rewarding the players over the commitment minded men, which gives rise to douchebaggery culture. Not only are women getting the types of men they deserve, but the men they select.

Males

Males on the other hand primarily seek sex from a variety of women, with the dominate trait of physical attractiveness , youthful vibrancy and femininity being the overwhelming characteristics for selection. Men playing the field are exercising their biological prerogatives within the frame-work women, feminism, culture and society have enabled.

Sexual Chaos

In the past dating was a means to an end- with the goal of marriage and ultimately parenthood… no more. The social and sexual freedom the last decades have brought has created a realm of sexual anarchy to the SMP. No one knows what is expected. Both men and women have escaped historical dating ritual, rules and gender roles by being financially and sexually independent exercising their rights and freedoms. They are free to do whatever they want and the opportunities for pursuing happiness on their own terms are like none before in human history.

Evolving Relationship Structures:

Serial Monogamy- the practice of having a number of long-term romantic or sexual partners in succession, which has given increase rise to disposable of relationships and the people in them. Serial monogamy gives people some kind of certainty and security by providing some sense of stability and exclusivity, that enable them to devote their resources to other issues…but for a limited time… It currently is the most prevailing form of romantic relationship, even though the sought-after ideal is still that of long-lasting monogamy. Fear of commitment and perfectionism play a large part in the serial monogamist’s thinking… they are often unable to cope and with the pressures of a relationship and incapable of sustaining a relationship over common hardships for long periods of time and eventually seek novelty and their independence once again or escape from a troubled relationship. Often the patterns of behavior are so established that the individual can predict and anticipate the time period in which a break up will occur well in advance.

Hookup culture– an intentionally vague term that can vary from person to person, event to event that spans from light sexual contact to an intense sexual interlude and everything in-between, with no connotation for a relationship and is expressly designed to avoid commitment and to liberate the parties to pursue separate agendas. It is quickly replacing traditional dating in the general population and has become the norm on most college campuses.

Relationships are no sanctuary from the forces that influence and make up the sexual market place, but what is surprising about the current dating environment is that both males and females tend to grow out of it and take the leap of faith into marriage with disastrous results. Marriage in its current form is a social mechanism designed to exchange sex for a modern form of indentured servitude. The easiest way to prevent divorce and its ugly fallout for men, is to NOT get married. Over 50% fail, with a +70% chance your wife will initiate it, and if a recent AARP poll is correct 25% of the divorced men state they never saw the divorce coming, compared to 14% of the women.

Relationships and especially marriage hold dangers for the man who enters into them foolishly. A relationship isn’t a panacea for the emotional, psychological and sexual needs that you haven’t resolved on your own. When you take on a relationship with the intent of being monogamous, you take on a tremendous series of obstacles, problems and issues, that needs to be negotiated with another individual… going into one without preparation, knowledge and appropriate skill set isn’t just foolish, it’s downright stupid.