The Brand called YOU.

“There is only one thing worse than being blind, it is having no vision…”

Successful companies throughout the world understand the importance of brands, as do individuals who are interested in what it takes to stand out and prosper, not only in business, but on the personal front as well.

Make no mistake, in the SMP (Sexual Market Place) you are both a commodity and a service provider. As such, you have a brand; an identity/personality/personal narrative that becomes the perception that people will form about you, in relation to being with and around you and as importantly, what they can expect from you. It is your personal message to the world. It tells everyone so much about you, even before you meet or engage them that often decisions are made just upon an initial visual summary. In this regard, you will live or die by it, as a false perception of you will have the same distinction of a real one.

What is of concern here is not only identifying your brand, but specifically and properly communicating that brand, (is it clear and distinguishable?), and making sure that brand is congruent with whom you really are and whom you want to be ( is your strategy in alignment with your life goals?)… a lack of either will severely affect your results in the SMP.

Are you aware of what you are communicating through your appearance, behavior, demeanor, methods of communication and relationship behaviors and expectations?  Is your brand in line with and in alignment to where you want your life to go? If not, you need to take the time to work and develop those areas, as your results in the SMP will be a reflection of what marketers refer to as your brand experience, which is the sum of all points of contact your potential customers have with your brand.

In understanding or developing your brand, it will take several steps and analysis that include a personal attributes and values analysis, a review of current or projected brand positioning, your brand promise, an analysis of your brand presentation, the brand’s message persistence and a measure of market perception analysis to determine where your brand stands. Once determined and refined (the act of branding) you then are in a position to better market that brand towards a specific target audience, the types of women and relationships you want to be with and in. Not having and acting on a real understanding of that, you are subject to the nature of serendipity, as your sexual marketing strategy and that just isn’t smart. Nor is it typically effective.

You brand for better effect is your story and your vision for your life. To be most effective your brand shouldn’t just be a list of attributes that are communicated in short narration such as displays of higher value, but should be integrated and woven into an overall combined story that builds a powerful connection between ideas, people and actions taken. They should give context and robust understanding to the information that you provide. It needs to be a story that is succinct, powerful and captivating. It also needs to be relevant to your target audience, places you in position of worth and inspires your audience to act upon your value.

To accomplish these goals your personal branding story needs to achieve several areas of impact beyond your personal physical attributes, social skills and personal aura (displays of personality);

Project into the future

It is not enough to discuss your personal history and experiences, but rather they should be the basis and foundation of why they are going to propel you to a specific future. It should emphasize where you are going and why you are going to be successfully in getting there.

Convey relevance

Your story isn’t really about you. It’s about how being in a relationship with you, in combining your lives together are going to benefit each other. It answers your customer’s wants and needs clearly.

Confirms your credibility

Your story walks people through a learning curve of critical pieces of information that will assist them developing and confirming your credibility for answering their wants and needs in a succinct manner. Where you have specific experience in meeting the needs, wants and desires of your audience member. Where those experiences failed, what was learned and gained from them.

Creates an emotional connection

It is not enough to just list the facts, but to forge a strong emotional bond though vulnerability, candor and shared experiences, where the audience gains a heightened emotional intimacy and understanding of your story and ultimately you.

 Differentiates

Your story needs to explain exactly why you are the best choice out there, such as a measure of quality, refinement, discernment, ability, performance etc… it is any specific element that attaches value to the proposition that you are offering, that is sensitive and important to the buyer.

Promotes action

Your story needs to motivate the audience to act… to provide the reasoning why your audience should buy your brand. Often this means not just meeting a particular need, want or desire, but also removing hidden or latent fears that are accompanying and associated with the root need, want or desire that tend to block or stymie action.

Personal branding is vastly more than just ‘knowing yourself’, it is recognizing that your audience is always watching, that it matters not only what you say, but what you do as well… it is a comprehensive environment in which you are actively striking chords with people to stir their emotions and awareness of who you are, so that their imaginations are stoked and fine tuned, as to what life with you would be like, what you have to offer and are compelled to act in that regard…

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Relationship Autopsy: A post-mortem examination of your failed relationships

“When you ask of the dead, they often reply in hushed tones and whispers… it is their legacy to you… but you must be prepared to ask…. and be unafraid to listen for the reply…”

(Paraphrased from a Gypsy woman, in Germany, who first read my palm at the age of 13)

“The unexamined life is not worth living”-Socrates (the Original).

Bust of Socrates

The Inner Awakening

Exploring our psychological makeup is often utilized for the spiritual development within ourselves, as it leads to an awakening of the consciousness about us, our natures and our possibilities. One cannot understand what is left unexamined. Most people only have a superficial observation of their own lives, they only understand the tip of the iceberg, but remain ignorant to the vast extent of the psychological subliminal forces that are actually directing and influencing control of their conscious self, below the surface of awareness. It is these explorations; I feel that lead to true self-confidence and self-awareness.

The Common Denominator

The only common denominator in all of your relationships is you… taking the time to understand what drives your behavior, needs, wants and desires for the relationship, and within them, can, and frequently does, result in finding dependency needs that are lurking within your psyche and sense of personal identity and personal narrative. These traits, more than likely, have been the underlying fault in any of the relationships you have been in, including the last one… By examining your past relationships you are in effect utilizing them as a psychological mirror to yourself. To be able to look beyond the immediate of your self-projected identity and more deeply into the identity of the person who is really driving the decisions you make, for yourself and your life. This is an immense tool to discovering and resolving these often deeply seeded issues.

Slow Deaths

Relationships usually die slow deaths… a series of broached boundaries, violated expectations, broken promises and poor behavior that lead up to a building resentment within the parties. Normally there is vastly more to it than the ‘initiator’ was ‘unhappy’ or a specific deal killing issue or betrayal.

The Autopsy (the Asking)

By performing the relationship autopsy you are looking for the underlying choices, behaviors and actions that lead to the demise of that relationship. Once identified the next task, in each case, is to determine what was driving those choices, behaviors and actions… how they came to be and how are they manifesting themselves now. By addressing the underlying drivers, you will resolve the plethora of symptoms that they ultimately manifest. Seek to address the causes, not the symptoms of the choices, behaviors and actions that lead to self-defeating patterns of behavior within yourself and your relationships.

Taking Stock (The Listening)

The value of taking stock when a relationship ends is that it teaches you a lot about who you are and what developmental tasks (what you’re trying to learn, develop and grow from) has been. If you pause to evaluate your old relationships you can see what your next developmental tasks will likely to be and can then choose a partner who is more appropriate partner for you, both in terms of your emotional preferences in life and values and your growing edge of personal development of being. These types of choices almost without a fault lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships than those selected and based only upon attraction alone.